God is good!

The last week has been a transition period for me. I have gone from bringing food to the church everyday for the boys and spending time with them to trying to fill my time with other projects especially since school is not in session. Mostly I have been preparing forms for the sponsorship program, meeting with people that I can do other programs with, preparing a bible study, and relaxing a little bit.

I have met some people from another mission organization and spent time at their base overlooking the gorge of the beautiful Zambezi river where I also spent a day white water rafting with Regina, the other missionary living in Zimbabwe. I also spent time talking to people and just getting to know them, as well as learning Nyanja with native speakers. I actually found myself a teacher who is going to give me lessons. I also saw the longest truck in the world as it passed through Livingstone knocking down things as it went (they gave money to the city for the things they had to ruin). It was so great to have some fun and relax after working so hard the last couple of weeks.

The hardest thing for me this last week was feeling like I hadn’t accomplished much since I am waiting for people to call me back and school to open to proceed with a couple of programs. I was starting to feel like a failure again and thinking why is it that I am here? I am not helping anyone and am just wasting people’s money. Well, today God spoke right into those lies with His truth.

I have not read my devotional “My Utmost For His Highest” by Oswald Chambers in a very long time and so I decided to pick it up today. Well, on August 30th, was a verse in Matthew where Jesus says to the disciples not to rejoice over what they succeeded in, but the fact that they belong to Jesus. The devotion went on to talk about how we as Christians are snared so many times by rejoicing that God has used you. Although of course this is a good thing, if our relationship with Him is right, then he is “pouring rivers of living water through you, and it is of His mercy that He does not let you know it. When once you are rightly related to God by salvation and sanctification, remember that wherever you are, you are put there by God; and by the reaction of your life on the circumstances around you, you will fulfill God’s purpose, as long as you keep in the light as God is in the light. The tendency today is to put the emphasis on service. Beware of the people who make usefulness their ground of appeal. If you make usefulness the test, then Jesus Christ was the greatest failure that ever lived. The lodestar of the saint is God Himself, not estimated usefulness. It is the work that God does through us that counts, not what we do for Him. All that our Lord heeds in a man’s life is the relationship of worth to His Father. Jesus is bringing many sons to glory.”

This was the exact struggle I was going through and it spoke right into my life where I was at. I believe that God is working through me in ways I cannot even imagine and I needed this encouragement to open my eyes to that. It has been hard coming from a society that focuses so much on production and accomplishment to come to a society that is more about the journey than the destination. I am having to learn how to really enjoy being available to whatever it is that God may have me to do that day because I don’t have a busy schedule right now. This means I have time to stop and talk to a blind person on the street or find out about the taxi driver’s family. This is the biggest blessing, but a hard lesson for me to learn.
I am so grateful for all of your prayers and encouragement as it speaks right into my heart in the exact places where I am struggling. I have felt very loved from my friends and family at home and I thank you for that kind of support. I pray that God would continue to use you in these ways for others in your life.

I will keep you updated about the sponsorship program especially for those who are interested as we will be trying to connect sponsors with children ASAP. Nami Yewani (I miss you all) and am praying for you.
Love,
Erin