God is good!

The last week has been a transition period for me. I have gone from bringing food to the church everyday for the boys and spending time with them to trying to fill my time with other projects especially since school is not in session. Mostly I have been preparing forms for the sponsorship program, meeting with people that I can do other programs with, preparing a bible study, and relaxing a little bit.

I have met some people from another mission organization and spent time at their base overlooking the gorge of the beautiful Zambezi river where I also spent a day white water rafting with Regina, the other missionary living in Zimbabwe. I also spent time talking to people and just getting to know them, as well as learning Nyanja with native speakers. I actually found myself a teacher who is going to give me lessons. I also saw the longest truck in the world as it passed through Livingstone knocking down things as it went (they gave money to the city for the things they had to ruin). It was so great to have some fun and relax after working so hard the last couple of weeks.

The hardest thing for me this last week was feeling like I hadn’t accomplished much since I am waiting for people to call me back and school to open to proceed with a couple of programs. I was starting to feel like a failure again and thinking why is it that I am here? I am not helping anyone and am just wasting people’s money. Well, today God spoke right into those lies with His truth.

I have not read my devotional “My Utmost For His Highest” by Oswald Chambers in a very long time and so I decided to pick it up today. Well, on August 30th, was a verse in Matthew where Jesus says to the disciples not to rejoice over what they succeeded in, but the fact that they belong to Jesus. The devotion went on to talk about how we as Christians are snared so many times by rejoicing that God has used you. Although of course this is a good thing, if our relationship with Him is right, then he is “pouring rivers of living water through you, and it is of His mercy that He does not let you know it. When once you are rightly related to God by salvation and sanctification, remember that wherever you are, you are put there by God; and by the reaction of your life on the circumstances around you, you will fulfill God’s purpose, as long as you keep in the light as God is in the light. The tendency today is to put the emphasis on service. Beware of the people who make usefulness their ground of appeal. If you make usefulness the test, then Jesus Christ was the greatest failure that ever lived. The lodestar of the saint is God Himself, not estimated usefulness. It is the work that God does through us that counts, not what we do for Him. All that our Lord heeds in a man’s life is the relationship of worth to His Father. Jesus is bringing many sons to glory.”

This was the exact struggle I was going through and it spoke right into my life where I was at. I believe that God is working through me in ways I cannot even imagine and I needed this encouragement to open my eyes to that. It has been hard coming from a society that focuses so much on production and accomplishment to come to a society that is more about the journey than the destination. I am having to learn how to really enjoy being available to whatever it is that God may have me to do that day because I don’t have a busy schedule right now. This means I have time to stop and talk to a blind person on the street or find out about the taxi driver’s family. This is the biggest blessing, but a hard lesson for me to learn.
I am so grateful for all of your prayers and encouragement as it speaks right into my heart in the exact places where I am struggling. I have felt very loved from my friends and family at home and I thank you for that kind of support. I pray that God would continue to use you in these ways for others in your life.

I will keep you updated about the sponsorship program especially for those who are interested as we will be trying to connect sponsors with children ASAP. Nami Yewani (I miss you all) and am praying for you.
Love,
Erin

A hard transition

Muli bwanji muzangas! (How are you my friends?)

It has been another hard couple of weeks, but the Lord is teaching me so much. I have had to work backwards and have been humbled and emboldened (is that a word?)in the process. It is still a rough road, but the Lord is showing his face through it.

The boys who have currently been staying at the church and eating there have also kept me anxious all week. We had to get information from these boys and bring it to social welfare to find out the best situation for them, especially if they had family. After a wild goose chase trying to figure everything out, we realized they had been in a program that they ran away from that was very good at addressing their needs. Apparently the caretaker was not very good and older boys were beating them. The program was changed and moved to another house where the boys are now able to go to and be safe. We are praying this is true.

In the midst of all this, we found that one of the boys is HIV+. This was very hard to hear because this boy is only 17 years old. He has already been through so much in his life with his parents dying and not being wanted by his auntie. One of the boys is very scared to go back to this program even though it has changed, which hurts me to see as well, as I want the best for them. The third boy has a family, but his stepfather abuses him, so I am praying that he is not put back in that situation, but that the family is able to receive counseling and can show this boy love. It is so hard to know whether this is the right thing for them, but we know this is more than we can offer, which is much better for them. We will still keep our relationships with them as they will come to our church and older boys from the church will spend time with them. We will also be sponsoring their school fees and any other fees that need to be paid for.

PLEASE pray for these boys as they have been so hurt throughout their lifetime from their families dying, to being abused and/or chased away, to contracting HIV. I feel so helpless in this situation because I cannot see the tangible things that I can do, although I know how important it will be to keep my relationship with them and speak truth into their lives about the love of our Lord. Unfortunately, these situations are far too common in Africa and there are very few resources. This breaks my heart.

In the midst of all this, I have also been working out my schedule as to what types of things I can be doing here. The main thing that I have come to do is set up a sponsorship program starting with orphans from the school here which I will start as soon as school starts again. I will also be volunteering at a deaf school which is so exciting since I sign and they use American sign language. Through this experience I will be observing how sign language is taught so that I can teach a girl in a rural village in Zimbabwe who has no one to teach her. I will also be visiting orphanages regularly to make relationships with the children as well as identify children who would benefit from sponsorship. Along with these things, I will most likely start a girls bible study for the young women in the church as there are very few and I want to encourage them to become leaders. There are many other tasks I will be doing along with these, but these are where I will be starting. I am very thankful to finally figure out where I can be used here and offer my service.

I appreciate your prayers for these things and also your financial contribution. If you would like to donate to these causes either monthly or as a one time gift, you can do so at any time at www.rockofafrica.org or send a check to
ROCK of Africa Mission
PO Box 5000
Costa Mesa, CA 92628.
indicating on the memo line it is for Erin Hartzell. Thank you so much! I also really appreciate all the encouragement I have been receiving. It is so crucial as I am in a very tough environment alongside trying to learn a new culture and language. Love you all!
Erin

First week without the teams

After surviving bungi jumping off a bridge at the top of Victoria falls this week, I have survived my first week alone in Livingstone! Although it has been difficult, I see God working in this place. I have started to work with these 3 boys: Davis, Boyd, and Nathan, who live on the street due to their parents dying and/or their relatives abusing them. We are looking for a place for them to live and one of the men that does children’s church will be living with them. He is actually an orphan himself, so we would be providing shelter to all of them. I am having a hard time knowing what activities to do with them each day, as well as communicating with them as their English is not that great and my Nyanja and Tonga isn’t very good.

I have many people in the church willing to help me, but it is hard to lead when this isn't my culture and I don't want to do things wrong. It is also very difficult to find a place to live for them and even more difficult to say goodbye each night knowing they are going back to sleep in a ditch. They have difficulties attaching to others and obeying authority since they have been rejected by those who are supposed to love them. I hope that they have seen the love of Christ touch their lives in their desperation and have felt the church wrap its arms around them. They have been coming to church and bible studies this week and have come to hang out at the youth center everyday this week. These boys showed me a real life version of a story in the Bible of a poor widow who gave her last coin as an offering. These kids gave money in church the other day from having nothing. I don’t know where they stand with Jesus, but that showed me amazing faith.

Although it has been hard to connect with them, I felt a little closer to one of them today as I shared pictures of my family and our house that burned down. I have been bringing food to them each day and sometimes I bring some clean clothes. They are bathing at the church and sometimes washing their clothes there as well. I would really like to do some school work with them and assess where they are at in school, but it is difficult because I am not a teacher. Perhaps some of you teachers in the states could send me some ideas of what kinds of things I can do with them. They are at different levels - one finished grade 3, one grade 5, and one grade 7. I hope that these boys can be the first to be sponsored by people in the U.S. Those of you who sponsor/sponsored me, know that this is where your money is being spent right now and I am very thankful to have those resources available.

Today was a hard day because I witnessed a pedestrian being hit by a car while driving back from the internet café. The car hit her very hard and she flew through the air. Then, the driver kept going. He didn’t even stop! I was asking our driver to please turn around so we could bring her to the hospital or something and asking my friend Watson to call the ambulance. He didn’t turn around and Watson told me there really isn’t a number to call for an ambulance. I felt so helpless and appalled that we could do nothing. We finally found a number after we had already driven back to the church and by then the police said they had picked her up and brought her to the hospital. Watson said she was probably dead. This was very hard for me to come to terms with.

Death is so rampant here that although it is still very sad and heartbreaking, it seems to be much more accepted. The desperation is also so much that it is almost ignored because everyone is so overwhelmed with all of the family members they are already trying to take care of. I don’t want to get so caught up in all this that I forget that I am here to offer the gospel of hope and love to these people first before material possessions.

Please pray for these things, as well as for some girls my age that I can share things with as I feel alone in all these experiences and feelings. Don’t get me wrong I have some great men my age that have been awesome and my “family” here is also great. I would just enjoy the company of women as well. I have enjoyed the food, culture, and language as well. My new best friend is my 8-year-old “sister”. There have been a lot of laughter and fun along with the sadness and I am really enjoying the people and the experiences.

Thank you so very much for your support and prayers!!

Love,

Erin (My new African nickname is Combutso-it means memory to remember the teams that left)